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„Kann mir bitte jemand helfen?“ – frage ich panisch meinen grinsenden Vater und meinen ebenfalls grinsenden Ehemann, die mir bei der Aktion sichtlich amüsiert zuschauen. „Das kannst du vergessen“ – antwortet mein Vater und winkt ab während mein Mann zögernd näherkommt und mich versucht mit ein paar unüberzeugten Gesten in die viel zu enge Hose hinein zu schütteln. Vergeblich. Mit einem lauten Knall geht der Reißverschluss kaputt, dann platzen die Nähte.
„Wie heißt Presswurst auf ungarisch?“ – fragte mein Mann paar Stunden zuvor. „Das gibt es nicht auf ungarisch “ – antwortete ich genervt, und ließ den Eimer tief in den Brunnen hineinsinken, bis er mit einem metallischen Glucksen endlich auf Wasser traf.
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Als ich den Eimer absetze und mich umgucke sehe ich eine wunderschöne Zigunerin hinter dem Busch, in langem Rock und Kopftuch, bunt wie ein Kanarienvogel, sie schaut mir in die Augen, unendliches Staunen im Gesicht, eine Frau halbnackt, die sich eimerweise kaltes Wasser über den Kopf kippt.
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Auch ohne Übergewicht – man steckt da gleich mal drin – nein, nicht in deiner Hose – in deiner Geschichte, und zwar mitten drin, so anschaulich erzählst du!
Aber ohne Distanz, ohne Weggehen könnte man das Dorfleben, oder Heimat überhaupt, nicht schätzen. Hätte man dableiben müssen, würde man es hassen. Zumindest mir würde es so gehen.
So kennt man beides und kann beides lieben. Wahlweise.
Das stimmt allerdings. Ganz genau so.
Jawohl! Auf die Fette Sau! -:)
Ja, Réka. Aber wenn ich mir – gefangen in meiner Impulsivität – die Selbstfindungs-yoga-meditations-selbstverwirklichungs-peace-friede-freude-eierkuchen anhören muss und so, dann muss ich manchmal zeitweise bisschen kotzen und brüllen: SCHAU DICH DOCH MAL UM! … Da ist mir Presswurst und harte, rauhe Frauenhände mit Leibesfülle für eine Woche sowas von lieb. Ich will dann auch mal im Dreck wälzen. Und mich mit einem rauhen Bauernjungen prügeln. Weißt du? Ach, wahrscheinlich weißt du eh.
Ich glaube, das, was in deinem Text so toll war, ist eben dieser Kontrast zum Städte-Schickimicki und einem Ort, an dem Menschen noch mit ihren Händen ihr Essen besorgen müssen.
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“In einem Leben voller Sinn ist das Sinnlose das einzig freie, die Ausnahme, der Luxus.”
***
Danke für diesen Satz und überhaupt.
Ich glaube es gibt ein natürliches streben nach Vollkommenheit. Das Richtige und das Gute ist immer nur die eine Seite. In diesem Sinne und auf die Presswurst !-:)
Ehm, meine Antwort gehörte eigentlich hierhin:
Ja, Réka. Aber wenn ich mir – gefangen in meiner Impulsivität – die Selbstfindungs-yoga-meditations-selbstverwirklichungs-peace-friede-freude-eierkuchen anhören muss und so, dann muss ich manchmal zeitweise bisschen kotzen und brüllen: SCHAU DICH DOCH MAL UM! … Da ist mir Presswurst und harte, rauhe Frauenhände mit Leibesfülle für eine Woche sowas von lieb. Ich will dann auch mal im Dreck wälzen. Und mich mit einem rauhen Bauernjungen prügeln. Weißt du? Ach, wahrscheinlich weißt du eh.
Ich glaube, das, was in deinem Text so toll war, ist eben dieser Kontrast zum Städte-Schickimicki und einem Ort, an dem Menschen noch mit ihren Händen ihr Essen besorgen müssen.
vielleicht ist heimweh immer auch die sehnsucht nach der unschuld der kindheit, wo noch jeder duft wirklich der duft war, der er war?
ich geniesse auch diesen text von dir ausserordentlich. das bild mit der hose als metapher für die veränderungen ist stark!
danke fürs teilen!
lg, soso
und auch fürs lesen danke. und für die kommentare! das bedeutet mir viel.
Das Glück des Einwanderers
Es ist der schönste Text über Heimweh – genau gesagt über das Fehlen von Heimweh -, den ich je gelesen habe. Ein befreiendes Lebensgefühl, endlich wieder Zuhause zu sein, egal unter welchen Umständen, egal wie, egal warum.
Man lässt sich fallen und geht zurück zu den Anfängen. Es ist nicht besser oder schlechter, es ist eben vertraut.
Man ist anders geworden als die daheim gebleibenen und das Heimatland ist auch anders als die neue Heimat.
Eigentlich gibt es nur eine Heimat. Ich lese deine wunderbaren Texte und ich lese auch diesen Text, und mir kommt immer nur die eine Frage: bist du glücklich? Kannst du (kann man) überhaupt glücklich sein ausser seiner Heimat? Hat das Glück des Einwanderers überhaupt etwas mit seiner Heimat zu tun? Sehr viel sogar? Oder gar nichts? Es kommt darauf an?
Ich glaube nicht daran, dass man irgendwo anders glücklich sein kann als Zuhause, aber es ist auch nur die persönliche Meinung eines kleinen und unwichtigen Menschen, der wieder heimgekehrt ist, statistisch gesehen also irrelevant.
Was kann man dazu sagen? Probiers aus.
Kann sein. Ich erinnere mich nur zu stark daran, wie wild ich weg wollte, als ich zu Hause war. Ich hatte eine ebenso quälende Fernweh, wie ich jetzt Heimweh habe. Daher bin ich mir selbst immer verdächtig. Ich lerne einfach nur den ewigen Widerspruch auszuhalten.
Auf den Luxus der Presswurst, die es in Deiner Sprache nicht gibt!